Mixed Emotions

SO I am going home tomorrow and I have never been so excited in my life, except perhaps every Christmas eve :) My bags are packed although I had to chuck pretty much half my material possessions into the trash to be able to fit it into my bags, goodbye textbooks, half my already way too small wardrobe, my pillow, and random things that I can hopefully live without. I am ready to be home, but I am also sad to leave, sad because I will miss Maritza and the boys, sad because I had big plans for my Spanish learning, and sad because I have come to love Mexico. I am happy because I am ready to move on, and because I do not like the feeling of doing a job that is not mine without being appreciated for it. So now I will spend a night without sleep, because I am not capable of sleeping when excited, and then I will come home tomorrow hopefully to snow.

Decision.

So I have been feeling a little weird about my job here in Mexico for awhile, I feel like the job I am doing is not the one that I was expecting, nor the one described in the contract and finally yesterday I talked to Carmen. It turns out that neither of us are satisfied with my stay here, so I am coming home. It was an adventure indeed and although I am a little sad to have it end, mostly I am just ready for the next. I have learned that it is not worth it to stay somewhere where you are under appreciated and taken for granted. I know that good things are coming for me, and I am excited to experience them.

Anthropology Museum

Here are about a million pics from the Anthropology Museum

Thankfulness Blog

Alright JoLynn, I am taking you up on your Challenge. But first, I finished the book of Mormon last night and took the challenge found in the last chapter, I asked God if it was true, and nothing happened. Then, today at church it was stake conference, and while we were giving our support to The prophet and other church leaders, I got goosebumps, I knew this church is the true church and I knew that the Book of Mormon is true, and it was an amazing feeling, because having felt it, I knew that I already knew all of this. It was a really great experience for me.
Now, on to my thankfulness, I also composed this list during church today, it just kept growing so here goes:

Things I am thankful for
My family
My friends
Holidays
Good food
Bookstores (especially those with coffee shops, that is like my all time favorite smell, books, and coffee combined.)
Consistency
Maritza
My extended family
My dogs
The knowledge that you should hate the sin but love the person committing it
Museums (all kinds, art, history, everything)
Trees
Mountains
Camping
Christmas (particularly this year)
Eyes
Shoes (I love shoes! But I don't actually love wearing them)
Fruit
Strong Values
My quilt
School
Good talks
Curling up to a book
Swimming
Baking cookies
A body that usually works pretty dang well
The internet
Stars
My Testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints
The holy ghost
Missionaries
The smell of rain
The color green, and all other colors for that matter
Homemade anything
Tammy and John McNaughton
Advent Calendars
My past Young Women's leaders
Taking random trips
Free time
Knowledge
Flowers
The temple
English
Jackets
"My" Young Women
Sundays
Movies
Sleepovers
Denny's runs
The priesthood
Animals
General Conference
People who love me
Chocolate
Target
Panda Express
Email
Pie
Hard things that happen, but always end
Hand holding
Having a voice
Freedom
My salsa class
cereal
Kisses hello on the cheek
An open mind
Freedom from addiction
Burt's bees
prayer
Faith
America
Cheesecake
You've got Mail
Fast Sunday
Priesthood Blessings (I really miss those)
Good Examples
My Spanish class
Getting packages
Bread (possibly my favorite food out of everything)
The Prophet
Diversity
Truth
Snow
Music
Hot Chocolate
Having people to talk to
And I am sure this list is too long already, so I will stop, but there is so much more to be thankful for. Being here in Mexico has made that even more obvious to me. It turns out though, that being a nanny is harder than it seemed. That there are days when I just want to go home, and I wonder if I really made the right choice. And that makes things difficult, but I am experiencing a new culture and learning a language, and I am safe, so I have a lot to be thankful for.

Phew, it's been awhile

I feel like it has been a really long time since I have last written, so I am now finally composing my blog post. Life is interesting. I made this decision to become a nanny and I was so excited to come, I could hardly wait, and now, I am going home for Christmas in 36 days and I am at least as excited if not more. What can I say, being a nanny is hard, I need people.
It is almost Christmas and I am so excited. I love Christmas and have loved it forever. In the past I have tried to claim that Halloween was my favorite holiday, but it is not. Christmas wins. I believed in Santa Clause for an especially long time, this fact should probably embarrass me, and in the past it did, but I love the idea of Santa and I wanted to hold on to it for as long as possible. I am usually a very logical and especially literal person, but when it came to Santa, I made all kinds of ideas and theories to support his existence. I had friends who didn't believe, who even helped their parents play Santa and still I held on. Convincing myself that Santa just stops coming when you stop believing, it made sense to me. I suppose I just liked the idea that someone who I had never met cared enough about me to try to make my Christmas special. And yeah, at 13 I finally gave in to the idea that maybe Santa is more of an idea than an actual person. It was sort of crushing, I had been hiding the truth from myself forever, I really just wanted to believe. Even now, I cannot sleep on Christmas eve, I maybe get 2 hours in before I am bounding up the stairs to check out my stocking with my brothers, who, came to grips with the truth at younger ages than I.
I love buying Christmas presents, and making cookies, and singing carols while drinking hot chocolate. I love how happy everyone seems to be, and how there is an emphasis on kindness. I love Christmas movies and Christmas traditions, I love the tree and the lights everywhere. I love the snow, and I love that it gets cold so you can sit at a window with hot chocolate and read a book with a blanket. I love Christmas, and I know this is far to early and that I am breaking like a million rules by blogging about Christmas before thanksgiving, but I feel compelled.
Now, you are probably thinking, what a nerd! And it is totally true, I embrace my nerdiness. But I thought I would give you an update on my thoughts and since this is currently what I am thinking about, you get to hear it, if you choose to read my blog. I also included some pictures of Halloween and a couple of others. I miss you all, and will try to be a little more consistent with my blogging.

Hi

Okay, so I have this problem with blogging, I always have all of these amazing ideas of what to say and how to say it and then I sit down at my computer and it all goes away and then you get stuck with whatever is left for me to say... so, I am really sorry for that, but there isn't really anything I can do.
I started my Spanish class last Monday and it is really amazing! In my class of 10 students there are 2 from Taiwan, 1 from China, 2 from Japan, 2 from Korea, 1 from Kenya, 1 from Germany, and me, from the United States. It is an amazing opportunity to take a look at different cultures and get to know a bunch of really cool people. In my Salsa class which is the companion class to Spanish, there are about 40 students, 2/3 of them guys, which I found really surprising, and the people are from all over the world, too many different countries for me to name them all, but I will mention that there are a couple of really cute boys from Quebec with really nice accents. Petty, I know, but I mean, I am nineteen years old, I can be petty every once in awhile.
We are learning really quickly, we cover a unit every week and I feel like my Spanish has already improved. In fact, today at church people were saying hello and talking to me, and all of them said, your Spanish is better! Que bueno!
As much as I am really loving the experience here, I have to say that I am learning that I most definitely would not want to be a nanny for life. I want my own family with my own cute little kids that I can choose how to raise, and raise them in an environment where they do not learn that smoking and drinking are totally appropriate parts of adult life and that screaming and freaking out is not the best way to get what you want. I am grateful for my background in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, it has allowed me to avoid some serious mistakes I may have otherwise made, and it helps me to be accepting of everyone no matter what choices they make or where they come from, because I know that they are all just as much God's children as I am, and they deserve equal respect. Although this does not seem to be the attitude that every LDS person has, it is the only attitude I can feel right about, knowing what I know.
I am also learning of my serious dependency on my friends, and the library. Here, I cannot just call someone up to hang out whenever, and I do not have nearly the access to books I have at home. Both of those things are so hard for me to deal with. I miss reading, not that I don't read here but I just do not have as much opportunity or as large of a diversity of books to choose between, so, I am left a little at a loss. Books have always been an outlet for me, a place to find friends when your friends aren't available, and finishing a book has always been a bittersweet experience. I get so into it, I may as well be living a book as I read it because it seems just as important as normal every day life. So here in Mexico I am lacking my real truly great friends, and a lot of my friends on paper. And that, is hard. But, I am making new true friends, learning about a different culture, working on my third language, gaining access to delicious food, and getting paid for it. So I have NO right to complain, none at all. Thanks everyone for reading this post and feel free to check out the pictures hanging out below. :D

Hello Again

So the funny thing about my life in Mexico is that I expected it to be SO different, but it turns out, life is life where ever you are living it. I do the same things just in a different place. But still I figured it was time for an update. So, here goes:
I am learning how much I am dependent on people and my ability to easily communicate with them. At home I took for granted my ability to call a friend whenever, have someone I could potentially do something with every night, and have so many people I love at such a close proximity. It is really hard for me to not have that option, really hard. And before I came here I was just starting to spend a lot more time with a lot of other people, and now that I can't, I am really missing it.
But, here, I have Maritza and she is really amazing. The most amazing thing about our friendship is that we totally understand each other despite the obvious language barriers. I don't know how but somehow Maritza Spanish makes sense to me, like i understand. It is amazing, really.
Okay, I don't really have to much else to say, so I will have to post more later, but I miss you all!

Howdy!

Hello everyone,
It has been awhile since my last post so i have decided to blog again, even though nothing too exciting has happened. It is really weird, but life here is just normal, I just happen to be in a different country living it. Last night was Max's birthday party with his friends, he just turned 19. I went to the party for awhile and it was okay but honestly pretty lame. He and his friends were drinking and smoking hookah, and I have to say that you can only say no so many times before you should leave and get out of the situation. So i did. Max was like, "oh yeah, you don't drink alcohol, that's too bad." And I just left and went down to my room, this morning at breakfast, I was feeling good and having a wonderful beginning to my day while he was stuck with a serious hang over. Yeah, that really is too bad. Hmmm... am I sounding a little bitter and sarcastic? Maybe, but mostly I am just feeling good to have standards that I stick to.
I have been missing some crazy things, like things I hardly took advantage of when I was home, I just miss having the option:
Big Walmarts
Target
My puppies
Having many brands to choose from
Library
Being able to call my friends, whenever I want
Texting :) although not as much as one would think
My young women
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
My bike
English
Making Cheesecake
Peanut butter bars (Kristen, they are not fingers)
Fall Colors
A wide music selection
And much more, ESPECIALLY my friends and family
But, besides missing some things, I am having a really good time, I start a Spanish course soon, and I am so excited! It will be great to actually be able to talk to people, I feel like a bit of a jerk not speaking the language here. Which makes me feel serious compassion for people living in America who do not speak English. I think the general assumption is that people who immigrate to America and do not yet speak English, no matter how long they have been here, choose not to speak English because they do not care to learn it. I believe that is far from the truth. The thing is, it is really hard to learn a new language, and when you are first learning, it is scary and embarrassing to practice using that language on those who know it well, and it would not be difficult to let that fear and embarrassment prevent a person from trying at all. But in America we tend to try to shoo those immigrants out the door, letting ourselves believe that they are just being lazy and lack the desire to learn, while here in my experience everyone I have met has been very forthcoming in offering assistance however they can to aid me in learning Spanish or with anything else that I need. So this makes me wonder, why is our focus on their inadequacies and not on how we can help them overcome? Seriously, why aren't we reaching out to our neighbors and being the Christlike persons we say we are? I want to be like Christ, I am learning that I really love people and want to help everyone, and that people are not so different as they seem.
Finally I am making a few changes in my room, trying to make it more, MINE. So far my changes have only been putting a couple of pictures up on the wall, there are already plenty from Antonia but now there are a few from me.

I went to Acapulco this last weekend and it was amazing and beautiful. Our hotel was right on the beach! It was great, but apparently if you are a 6 or 8 year old boy, you would rather swim in the pool than at the beach, so I only got to spend about 20 minutes out of the whole 2 days on the beach, super sad. I have never lived near the ocean and this was only my third trip to a beach but I must say that I feel so at home near the ocean. It is beautiful and peaceful and I love the perfect sound of waves hitting the sand. I have been thinking a lot lately about a lot of different things, and the thing about making a major scary decision like this is that it makes you feel that you can do anything, and I really do. I am making a plan for myself and my future and I am liking the looks of it. But anyways... major tangent... back to Acapulco. It was so humid there, the air was like water, and as evidence, I now have a killer cold, but it will go away soon I hope. I am having a good time here and I am so glad that I made this decision and had this opportunity. That is not to say that it is easy, because in fact, living in a country where you don't speak the language without your friends and family nearby is pretty hard. I really miss everyone, but still I would not miss this opportunity for the world. Well... maybe for the world :D One not so happy peice of news is that coco has been given away. I loved that dog so much even though I only knew her for 3 weeks or so... and I was so sad when she left, I cried more than was merited perhaps but what can I say, I am a crier. Otherwise, things are good and I am happy. Check out the pictures, it was beautiful there!

Cuernavaca

Hi everyone! I just went to Cuernavaca last week and it was AMAZING!!! I took Like a million pictures, so bear with me, please :D It was so beautiful! A couple of pictures are just from at the condo... the bug is one that is very rare and native to Mexico City, Carli and Otti caught it while we were insect searching. THe other people in the pictures are Belin, Milo (meelow), Chiao, and Antonia. I just met them the night before we went to Cuernavaca, well except Belin. It was crazy because they all spoke only Spanish, and we were together all day having a blast! I understood a lot! The soup is what we ate at this little restaurant by the Market, it was really good! The tropical looking pictures are of the huge park in the middle of the town, it was so cool! There is also a picture of the castle there, it was built on top of some ruins of a Pyramid, well... they weren't ruins until the castle building people decided to tear them down!

Here are a whole bunch more pictures! THey aren't in any particular order, so just have fun looking!
Max

My delicious, finished plate of cake

me in front of the park

Ham and melon hours devours

Grape and cheese

The Garden

ANd more garden...

and more garden

Fresh orange juice from a vendor in the park

Drinks at the party

Curry

Condo Administrator Guy

Coco on my bed

Me chopping

Carli and otto

Carli

Cake

Birthday

Belin, cooking (maritsa's daughter)

Belin and I

Me being amazed

My witch game

Attempts to put the wands in the right place

Hats

The finished witch

Entrance to the park

Pictures of mexico!

Okay everyone! Here are some of the long awaited pictures! I was going to label them but that turned out to be the devil, so I decided against it! If you have any questions, feel free to leave a comment! Okay so now someone said I should caption... fine! Captions it is!
Yarri (she is a maid who doesn't live with us)

The Condominium

My room

more my room

even more my room

My room again... I love my room, so i am prone to take pictures of it!

The family roomish place

Look at all the books!

I love it!

Carli's room (otti has a room too but they both sleep in here.)

The bed is so sweet!

And here are a whole bunch of lego creations...





Ketchup... it was funny because someone just stuck a Spanish label over the normal one...

Dolces... sweets

Melon! Cantaloupe... it is so good here!

Coco

Egg and cheese pasta... the ultimate easy make it when you are lazy food here

Living room

Dining room

Sweet yellow Kitchenaid

Our water supply

The beautiful kitchen

Coco

More Coco, I love her guts!

My shower

Me at the house

Otti

Me at the mall

The guy who sold me my camera

My messy bed

Frida

A hiding coco

Carli