Mexico

I have wanted to go nanny in another country for a long time, and now finally I am getting the opportunity. I am leaving on the 20th of August to go nanny in mexico for a german family. i will be in Mexico City in a really beautiful house with two really cute kids that I have talked to on the phone and a really nice seeming family. i am So excited I can' even handle it, I am having trouble even breathing normally! I have to get my passport real fast and buy a plane ticket which they will reimburse me for so I have to earn some money pretty quickly here so I can go. Mostly though I am just excited for this amazing opportunity to experience a new life in a new and different culture! Wish me luck, :)

My Dream

This morning i woke up from a wonderful dream, like really this is my dream in a real sense more than just a thing that happens when you go to sleep, it is something i have wanted forever and ever. In my dream I was playing elfaba in the musical, Wicked! Can you believe it?! And I was doing a great job. I sound super cocky, but what can I say, I was. The one problem was that we didn't get to practice first so I was relying solely on my one time musical seeing experience to get through the part. Since I was little my dream has been to play a part on broadway, and this particular part would be perfect, PERFECT. Oh goodness i cannot even explain how good it felt to be doing exactly what I wanted to do, even though it turned out to be only a dream. So, I want to make it happen, from this point forward I want to try out for everything, and make myself who I really want to be. Who knows if it will ever happen for me, but I will work harder than anyone before.

What you want and what you get

It turns out that not only do you not usually get what you want, but you also end up with something so different and ridiculous and unexpected and even opposite of what you want. And by you, i actually mean me but who knows, it might be true of you too. Ugh. It can make a person so angry to see all the not what you wants pile up and all the what you wants be tossed to the side because someone else has a different idea of what is good for you. But anger is probably not the best response, you know... maybe a different approach would be better but I can't always make the best choice. It is not possible. I can try and try and try but still mistakes will be made and dealing with it sucks, but is unnavoidable. What I want to say is, (to quote The Smiths) Please, Please, Please, Let me get what I want, lord knows it would be the first time. But it wouldn't be the first time, it would probably be the second or perhaps the third. And it is not to say that what i want always turns out to be what is best for me. But still sometimes i want to see how getting what i want would turn out. It can't always be such a bad thing. Someday, I suppose.

I made these!

The Betsy


The Betsy-Long

The Ruth

The Olive Lee

I eventually will have an Etsy page set up to sell these on, but for now, this plug is all I have got, so if you are interested contact me any way you would like, or leave me a comment on this post.

Capitol Reef National Park

If i were to name for you my favorite places in the world, this national park would HAVE to be one of them. I love it, have always loved it and will continue to love it FOREVER. And this sunday, for once in my life i actually brought a camera to it. Due to this wonderful demonstration of foresight, you will get to witness the joys of my terrible photography. Without further ado, things i saw in capitol reef
A horse Eating a tree

A pair of randomly discarded socks

A fire-hydrant

A heart shaped hole in the ground

A bridge

The flower Horton's city of who's is found on

A stop sign

Ants, and yes that is my finger blocking the lense

A naturally occurring staircase

A beautiful blue bellied lizard

And a whole bunch of AMAZING redness and greeness









Wow, I really really really really really really really really really really love this place!

To be a mother

I have never been one of those girls who would answer, I want to be a mom, when asked the question "What do you want to be when you grow up." Oh, how I wish I was. But even now I really still am not, I mean I do of course want to be a mother, and recently, that desire has become so strong in me, it's like a burning. I really really want to be a mom. But also i want to be a million things, have a career and be able to honestly tell my daughters that they can do WHATEVER it is they want, no matter what it is. I feel, you know, a little on the evil side for even mentioning the fact that I want to be more than a mom, I know and have seen how truly hard and terribly important motherhood is and I have huge respect for all mothers, but for myself at least, I want to get all the education I can and take advantage of all the opportunities that come my way. (somehow I have made myself out to be a complete jerk, which perhaps I am but I did not mean this at all in a jerkly way) This does not mean that I will put motherhood or starting a family on hold for a career -not that family starting is even a remote possibility for this 18 year old girl at the moment- but I do want to become everything I want and not just a part of who I could be. Sorry this is like the choppiest post ever but I hope I got my point across, I really want to be a mom, and I will be. But I also want to be a chemist and a linguist and a chef and an actress and a singer and a forensic scientist and a doctor and a lawyer and about a million things on a list that I should probably be narrowing down by now. Once I do, I will accomplish everything I feel is important, and just you wait until I have kids, they will be dang cute!

Defying Gravity

I went to see wicked on saturday with my aunt Sandy and it was absolutely amazing, I have been waiting to see it seriously for probably 4 years, I know every song by heart and I feel like elfaba and I should be best friends. I love the song Defying Gravity, it makes me feel like I can and should do whatever I dream and I feel understood. Sometimes things that seem bad are good and no one else really has the right to tell you what to do with your life, even when they are only trying to help. We are the only ones who know the whole story about our lives and when other people try to judge us for making what is in their opinion the "wrong" decision it is not their call. Decisions are hard and sometimes to make the right ones we have to go against what other people think and sometimes they cant understand. More than anything though, I want to defy gravity, I want to prove to the world what I am worth and I promise it is more than a little. I can and will do great things even with the major stumbling blocks that seem to always be placing themselves in my way. Everyone has lives full of hard, the important thing is to find the good behind the hard. Thank you Wicked for inspiring me, and seriously everyone if you haave a chance to go see it anywhere, take it, it is amazing and SO worth it.