Mesa Vista

This is the second blog I have written today, but it is the more analytical of the two so Mr. Rich this is the one for you. Mesa Vista is a care center in my stake's boundaries, for people with mental and physical disabilities. Twice a year we go and give the sacrament to these people on sunday mornings. And I have a definate love hate relationship with it. I love to go and help these people, but I hate that they have to be there when I do not. My question then, is why do I feel that way (not "how the heck can I have a relationship with a care center)? Well, it all begins with a comparison of my body to theirs. I have a body that I take for granted and that works pretty well, I do not share the physical disabilities that prevent them from blowing their own noses or even walking. It seems unfair to me that I can move freely, do my own hair, and go for a swim, while these people cannot even live with their families or leave the center by themselves for an hour or two. It leaves me questioning why my body is strong and and free and they are stuck inside of theirs. The next step comes from family. I live at my house with mine, while they live in a center and recieve perhaps an occasional visit from their parents. Today there was this boy there who had Downs syndrom he was probably between seven and ten years old. Have you ever seen a child with Downs? They look almost perfect in a way, with smooth skin, soft expressions, and a kindness that you don't often find in anyone else. But this boy lived there, in a care center, while I live at my home with my family. It made me cry, I am not angry with his family, because I do not know why they don't keep him with them, but I wish they could. One time at the care center, I was going to sing in church afterwards, I was about twelve, and I had dressed up for the occasion, and one of the girls was telling me about how her parents were coming to visit, and that they were going to give her a dress like mine. I do not know if they came or if they found her a dress, but I hope they did. The last thing affecting my relationship with this care center would have to be the mind. It makes me feel unworthy to be with them when I think of the many advantages I have. I can read a book, quickly, and completely comprehend it but some of them cannot even talk to explain how they feel. And I wonder how can I even pretend to understand how they feel, whe I have so much. I have so much. And, I take it all for granted, when I go outside, to work, or to a friends, I do not think "how lucky I am," in fact I am probably thinking about some small unimportant thing, like the terrible weather. Who am I to think like that? That is why I love and hate visiting Mesa Vista, because I love to see them I love to interact with them, but I hate to see their pain and to remember how much I take for granted. They appreciate the small things. There is this girl Allison and one time she had a bottle of hairspray that had been replaced with water, and she loved it, she was continually spraying her hair because she felt it was helping and she was so happy. I need to be like that, happy with what I have, and don't we all?