France... or not

A few weeks ago i heard about the opportunity of my life, and so so ready to grasp it, I called it mine and forged a beautiful, painful, one-sided bond. I want to go to paris so badly. So badly it almost could be considered painful, in a physical way, but not quite. See i have a chance to go be a nanny (Au pair if i'm feeling pompous) for nearly a year in paris, not texas but france, the real one. But I have not heard back in a difinitive fashion, and seriously i was dying inside. I am not by any stretch of the imagination a waiter, or a patient person. I want to go and i want to know now. But I don't. And yesterday in church i had an epiphany almost as painful as the not knowing. I care too much about this stupid little thing that for now seems so important. As great as it would be to go to paris, the point of life is not to do as many cool things as possible! This came as quite a serious shock to me... Our purpose here is to return again to god, to be like him and to have an eternal family. My goals, then, should be based on that one imperative belief. I need to focus on becoming who i need to be, not doing what i merely want to do. I need to go to the places that will lead to my own eternal family. I am only 17 and so of course this will sound really lame, but I need to be going to the places that will lead to me finding the man i will want to marry. Yes I know that is overly mushy but who cares, I'm a girl... I can hardly help wanting a boy. The great eternal kind, someone who will love me forever as i am, and who i can return that eternal love to, never faltering. I don't need marraige tomorrow, next week, at the end of the summer, or even in a year... and lets face it, maybe not even five, but i need to be doing what i can to be in the places i need to be. So that some day in the more distant future I will be able to have what i want and more importantly, what i need. And after this brief epiphany my wait became weightless... totally kidding... I can still hardly handle the anticipation, but my intentions are better, and for now that is good enough for me.