Graffitti

So from the title of this blog, one might assume that it was going to be on the reasons behind graffitti: the quest for the title "Grafartist," but, if that is what you are looking for, you are reading the wrong blog. This blog is not actually on graffitti, instead it is on Alias, a show almost as terrible as the two-second graffiti on the wall opposite my house, but so amazing that I will probably never stop watching it. Last night I finished the first season, at the third to last episode everything began to unravel and I almost couldn't take the tension... almost. Instead of cracking under the pressure, I watched the show, eyes practically glued to the screen, as wives where threatened, partners discover secrets, and Will Tippens has a tooth forcefully removed. So here comes the part where I ask a question: Why the heck am I watching a show that made me cry almost 10 times in one episode? And, the answer is that if a program has that much power over my emotions, it has to be amazing. So, I continued to watch the show until the season was over, lacking the forsight to order the second season in advance. Alias is amazing, it pulls you into the life of the characters until for an hour it is hard to distinguish a difference. "Oh, no they are torturing my best friend Will what will I do, oh ha ha, its just on the TV, I was just kidding about that." And that is pretty much how it is as I watch it, I think about how Charlie is cheating on Francie and what I personally am going to do about it, I wonder what i am going to do if Sydney's mom turns out to be the bad guy, how can I live after that; and I fear for emily's life after she is cured of cancer, how interesting of a dillema, now that she will not die from cancer, she has to fear for her life. Alias may as well be some addictive substance in my system, now that I've started I cannot stop without difficulty. Try it and you will see, a show really worth analyzing.

crazy

What is it to be crazy? How do we decide who is crazy, and how is anyone left out of that group? There are some people that seem so completely normal it makes me sick. I am weird but... am I really? So, there has to be specific guidelines to what makes a person crazy, but these guidelines vary from person to person. It is like when criminals are referred to as armed and dangerous, as if a murderer with a gun could possibly be gentle, calm, and harmless (actually it is not like that at all but I was thinking about that so I had to put it in). I find it hard to understand why we put people into the category of crazy, when we KNOW that we are probably in theirs. I consider some one to be crazy if they run around naked down the street, but to some that could be completely normal. Someone may think that I am crazy for dreaming big, and expecting to make it. It doesn't really matter who thinks what is crazy, because who knows how sane they are anyways. This blog could possibly be the weirdest thing you ever see, but if it is, I feel bad for you. Who said that weird was a bad thing, really it just makes life more interesting.

Expectations

As Humans we are all faced with certain expectations, they can be from your family, friends, teachers, and most importantly yourself. Sometimes it seems that the weight of those expectations is beyond the maximum weight you can hold. Screwing up is bad enough when you are the only one hurt, but when you see the disappointment in someone elses eyes it is too much. That is what sometimes makes life seem too hard. We can never meet everyone's expectations, especially when those expectations contradict one another. Some expectations are impossible to meet but we still must fulfill them no matter what the cost.
We all place impossible expectations on the people we love, and we all hate having those expectations placed upon ourselves. Why do we choose to have improbable expectations when we know that they will probably be missed? I think that when you love someone you want them to be the very best they can be, and our idea of "the best" is usually different from theirs. People want you to be the person they believe you can become, but they sometimes forget to care about who you want to be. When goals are placed too high, at a point where they can not be reached, disappointment always follows. In my opinion, there is nothing worse than not reaching the expectations of someone you love. It makes you feel like you should have been so much better, or have tried so much harder, even when you couldn't have. People's high expectations can lead to big crashing falls that could have been avoided if there was only, support instead of cricism. Think before you speak, and before you act ask yourself this question,"how far will they fall if I ask them to be this perfect."

Why I love the Rain

I love the rain because it is water, and I love water. No, I just thought that I would say that as a broad nonanalytical beginning to my blog. I really do love the rain though. There is something about the sound it makes as it hits a roof top that has comforted me since I was very young. The smell of rain is also something I love, not the terrible Utah Lake fishy smell, but the clean rain in the mountains smell. Rain, is a beautiful thing, and I love it. When I cannot sleep I wish for the quiet raindrops that create, for me, a lullaby. There is something in the way the world is clean after the rain that makes me long for it. A rainbow, though the meaning has been disfigured a bit in recent years, is a beautiful thing to say. I remember playing in the irrigation water while it was raining and coming so cold, and so blissfully happy, that I could not even try to explain.
I stand in the rain, head pointed upwards and I feel happy, really happy. As the rain flows freely down my face, it mixes with my tears and I feel safe. That is why I love the rain, there is a safety inside of it that I long for.