Halloween

Halloween is coming up and I for one am excited. Why am I excited? Well I'm pretty sure that it has something to do with the candy, but, the element of disguise has the most appeal for me. There is something very desirable about being some one besides yourself even just for a minute. When you are in disguise you feel free to do things that you would not normally do. Disguise, no matter how little it actually changes your appearence makes you seem powerful and crafty. When I am in costume I feel like I could go do crazy things like go ask the good people of the world for candy at their front door. I f I was not in costume and it wasn't halloween that would most definately be on my "top ten things not to do if you want to live list." halloween is glorious it gives people the power to be someone they don't seem to be.

Chocolate Milk in a carton

Chocolate Milk:The gift of life. Alright so it is not quite the gift of life, but without it there would probably be a lot more death. I personally am a firm believer of the joys of chocolate milk in most instances. The one exception is when the chocolate milk is tainted by being inserted into an unholy container commonly known as the carton. The carton may seem to be an innocent liquid holding object but really it's intentions are quite evil. The point of this carton is to contaminate all of the chocolate milk in the whole world with a flavor not unlike that of paper. When I want chocolate milk I do not mean I want a cheap paper flavored replica of chocolate milk, I mean I want chocolate milk. The chocolate milk manufacturers could possibly be using this paper flavoring to cover a lack of actual milk and chocolate products or maybe the insertion of strange chemicals known to cause cancer in certain more cancer skittish states (possibly California). The paper flavoring, possibility of cancer, and lack of actual chocolate milk ingredients is enough to make the average me cringe at the thought of swallowing such a thing. Many, (such as a friend of mine named Aubree) feel the need to look beyond the paper flavoring and find the real chocolate milk within, and so I will not try to halt their paper flavored milk eating habits. If you are one of those people, please forgive me if I have offended you and continue to drink your milk as irresponsibly as you usually would. Good luck with the Milk Poisoning.

sandboxes

A sandbox, known to some as a pile of dirt contained by walls of wood or some other material commonly used in building. The purpose of such boxes is to keep the minds of children away from their obviously busy and overworked parents. And believe me, it works. Yesterday night for example I spent about an hour and a half in a sandbox with two little boys and time flew. There is nothing like a huge stretch of sandy nothingness to keep you occupied and away from making dinner.

The question of course is what a person could possibly see in an oversized bucket of sand. I mean if we were to see a huge man in a suit playing in a pile of dirt everyday we would: First probably question his sanity, and Second wish that we were out there spending a blissful hour building and destroying sand castles. There in lies the appeal it is of course human nature to want to crush the living daylights out of someone else's intricate and beautiful creation, which they had spent at least several hours on. Why is it that people have a strange need to destroy what others have worked so hard to attain? Well I suppose it has something to do with their pride. Everyone wants there sand castle (mansion, paycheck, vehicle, or fancy helicopter) to be bigger and better than the one belonging to the pompous guy down the street. Your sand caste is guaranteed to be better if his has been demoted to a flat pile of overrated dirt. That is the joy of sand boxes; you can completely destroy the happiness and hard work of another without ever touching anything they spent money on (therefore avoiding any lawsuits they as Americans feel it to be their duty to claim.) Sand boxes are great things, with them you have the opportunity to teach your children a) the joys of nature that can be found in your own back yard, and b) the joy of completely destroying the pride and self-esteem of the child playing in the next spot over.

Change:the money kind

A week or so ago I went to Wendy's with a friend and noticed something that is true among most people: when you have to pay a full dollar amount and a few cents we have an unexplainable desire to pay the change in coins to avoid receiving more coins. Now as I noticed this I had to ask myself, why? If you use all of your change paying for Items you buy, you are bound to eventually run out of spare change; and when you reach this point you should have achieved your goal of changelessness, but, instead you are stuck. If you spend more money that is not in exact dollar amounts, you will have change again.
So why do we as human beings need to get rid of all of our change when we KNOW that it is inevitable that our change supply will be replenished? After much thinking I have come to the conclusion that we only care about what is happening now, we do not have the foresight necessary to see that our attempts are futile. The fact that our purses are too heavy right now overtakes our common sense and we do whatever we can to get rid of the extra weight. This vicious cycle is obviously responsible for any muscle deficiencies we may be guilty of having. If we would just keep that extra change in case of an emergency, our bags would be heavier and save us from many boring trips to the gym. By working out, outside of the gym, you not only gain muscle mass but you also avoid embarrassment. For example, you wont be found "running" two miles an hour on the treadmill next to the wonder woman on the elipitical trainer with twenty pound bags of flour in each arm who defies all impossibilities by actually getting somewhere. As humans we want to avoid immediate discomfort whenever possible, ignoring the fact that it probably will lead to a more public embarrassment later.

Marriage

What is going on with marriage nowadays? There are Brad and Angelina, maybe getting married but not so long ago it was brad and Jennifer. There are Nick and Jessica who each have found new love after the seemingly blissfully beginning of a marriage and even a TV show about how great it was to be newly weds. Marriage has become disposable, like a stinky diaper you can ditch in the nearest trash can. I mean after all there are so many eligible bachelors and female singles, hanging out in this world that you might as well try them all out. Alright so not every marriage is bad in fact most of them are good but still there has been growth in the divorce rate everywhere not just in Hollywood. The problem is that when things get hard newly married people aren't prepared. Life is fairly easy in high school, your parents pay and you only need to take care of yourself. Instead of staying together to solve problems people get away from each other to avoid problems. But the avoided problems are not gone forever they come back just to remind you how good things could have been. How can a person be happy in the good times if they never experienced the bad? Life is weird, and things happen that are hard and unexpected but that doesn't mean that they are unsolvable or that you are stuck. When you try until you can try no more, that is when you can give up and stop fighting, only when you are so tired that you realize what you fought about doesn't even matter any more. I don't know, I have never been married before, I do know that it must be harder than it seems to me but, I also know that love is something that is terrible to lose. Is quitting worth it?