Amazing

Life is interesting, fun, boring, crazy, painful, and difficult. It's funny, but you can feel all of these things in one day. Sometimes life is so hard, and so painful, that it is hard to believe that you can actually make it through. I sometimes wonder how I can possibly last the day, and I believe that this trial is the one that I will not be able to conquer, the one that stops my growth. But really I know that this cannot be. I will never stop growing, I will never find a trial that I cannot conquer, and even if there is one so difficult I think I might die in the effort, I will do it, because I want to better myself. I am in no way perfect, I'm not even close. I am surrounded by amazing people, and it is often hard to believe that they should want to be friends with me. I have the most amazing friends EVER, and I really do not understand why they would choose to be friends with me. But they do. And that means that I must have some worth, if they want to be my friends, than I must be better than I think. You see, my friends are the kind that are always there for me, always. So, as I strive to improve myself, I am not alone. I have amazing people on all sides, rooting for me and helping me whenever they can. The trials I overcome, wil not be overcome because of my strength alone, but also because of the support I have from everyone around me. Aubree, Becky, everyone... Thankyou so much for being there for me. I do not know what I would do without you.

Swim

I am one of the Mountain View swim captains next year, but the thing is, I am not fast or skilled nor do I have amazing endurance for the super long races. Sometimes I wonder if I should resign the title because the team needs a quick captain. But, maybe they need some one like me. I, though not fast, do not give up, I keep swimming until I can't anymore, and I like the feeling of water on my skin. There are bad days, days where I feel small, stupid, and slow, and I wonder why I even bother. It is a hard thing to swim every day and to see everyone else beat you to the wall... every time. If you have never felt that before, you can't understand. I am the one the coach puts in the slow lane to be with the new swimmers and easier sets despite my 2 years of swimming. And really you have no idea how much I wish I didn't need that. I would give almost anything to be fast. I really would.
But, there are also good days, days where I decide not to care about speed, days where I give myself up to the water and it seems like it is meant to be. The best time for this is in the warm up, I just swim and breathe as little as I can without feeling like I am going to die. It seems like I should be fast if it feels like this, but that's not the way it is. i don't know why it is me who can try and try and never get fast, but it is. I have needed to get used to it, and I still have days where I want to quit because it is so hard for me. But I don't, because I know the next day can only be better. When I have hit the lowest point, when I think there must be something wrong with me, because there is no way someone can be this slow, I know that I can make it. That I am better than giving up, that I am above that. And my knowledge of myself makes all the difference.

Perception (Mr. Rich I think this one might be worth your time)

But you don't know what it's like when you try
and you try and you try and you never get there.
Because, Because you were born perfect and I was born
like this and you're perfect. People like you don't know
People like you don't know what it's like to get hurted
because you don't have feelings People like you don't
feel anything.

That is Sam's opinion in probably my favorite scene of "i am sam" his words are followed by Ritas expression of her own failures:

You think you've got the market cornered on human
suffering? Let me tell you something about people
like me: People like me feel lost and little and ugly
and dispensable. People like me have sons who hate
them and I've screamed and screamed horrible things
at him, a seven year old, because he doesn't want to
get in the car at the end of the day. And then he looks
at me with such anger and I hate him then. 'I know I'm
failing you I know I'm disapointing you I know you
deserve better but get in the f'ing car' it's like every
morning I wake up and I fail and I look around and
every body seems to be pulling up but somehow I... I...
I...can't. No matter how hard I try some how I'll never be
enough.
Every time I watch this scene I cry because I understand how they feel, both of them. There are those days where I try and try and try but I can't do it, I can't be good enough, but everyone else seems to be doing just fine in their perfect little worlds. I think everyone has days like this, days where it seems that they are destined to fail. So it seems, after all of that crying I should hate this scene, but I don't. There is something about the way it can connect me to Sam and Rita, it makes me know them and know that I am just like them. Even when I feel that I can only fail, I can make it. See here's the thing: life is not about always feeling good about yourself or being perfect, it is about trying as hard as you can, and even when it is so hard that you KNOW you can't do it you still try until someday you do it, and it feels so good that you want to laugh and you want to cry because you feel so amazing and you never want it to go away.
Sam believes that he is the one imperfect man and that everyone else is doing better than he ever could. But he is wrong. A disability does not make you less of a person. I can connect with Sam, I have no disability, but there are times when I think there must be something wrong with me because nothing works out right. On good days (most days) I remember my dreams and my capability. I am worth something. There is no one who is worthless, we see the world as being full of perfect happy people while we feel dejected and overworked, and they think the same of us. How can we believe that we are worse off than anyone else when we don't know what goes on in their heads?
I think that we know how we feel, and that is first priority. We believe that our feelings are so deep and real that no one could possibly understand, and if they don't they must not feel, at all. Then we justify, if they do not feel than they do not have problems, if they are problemless than they are perfect, and their perfection makes them happy, beautiful, intelligent, and a little bit pompous. So whats the deal? How can we really believe that there are normal people who don't feel at all? We don't. We just can't make ourselves believe that they might understand us.