Sunday, January 21, 2007

Frustrations

Life is full of millions of things that cause me, and everyone else involved in any sort of life at all, to be completely and totally overcome. Sometimes what I want more than anything else is just to give up, go to my room, cover my head, and go to sleep until the magic fixer fairy comes to save the day. Sadly I have never had a day where the fixer fairy actually came through for me. Still I hope, or not really, I have finally settled to the fact that I must actually do things for myself. Sometimes it seems that the whole world is in my hands pushing with a crushing force that I cannot control or even begin to handle. How can life really cause me this much frustration? I know that these troubles are not permanent, that in fact they are very brief, but still the end looms so far away that I can hardly dream of tasting that sweet victory. Will I really come out victorious? I don't know, it seems that I fail so often in the little things that I could not possibly win, but I do know that I can try and that if I am really willing to try hard enough I will find a way to at least overcome somewhat. I cannot bring myself to believe that I am a failure, I have tried so hard and faced to much for that to be true, but inside of my head there lives a small insect created of all the doubt I have and it is not afraid to bite. Though the bite is small it sometimes begins to take over, the doubt replacing the faith, and the darkness replacing my light. Luckily the insect has no real poison unless I let it have control and that is something that I can never do. I will not let the pest of my own doubt win no matter how overpoweringly right he may seem to be, He is only strong when I allow him to be.
That is why I will win. I will come off conqueror and so can you. Look beyond the darkness of doubt and find the courage to believe, in yourself if nothing else.

1 comment:

Aubree said...

you are insanely insighful. now you must stop. I actually had to really think about what you wrote and like reread some parts. stop.