My life

I don't know what I want to do with my life, at least not exactly, not precisely. I want to do something amazing, I want to help people, and I want to be remembered. I don't know how I will do this, but I know I will do it. I want future generations of people to look back at my life and to say, she was kind to people, she made them laugh, she was smart, she made a difference. I want there to be individuals whose lives are better because I am a part of them. That's really what I want.
I worry sometimes that I say the wrong things, because I do. I'm worried that I've hurt people, and I know I have. And I'm really sorry for it. I worry that some people have cried, and will cry because of me. I hurt for that. But I hope I can do enough good to make up for it.
I also worry that my capacity to do good is hindered by the same thing that hinders my capacity to eat food. But I don't actually think that's a thing.  I think that everyone can do good, no matter what their physical situation; If they want to.
I signed up for this stupid ass support group the other day. I thought maybe it would be cool to have other people to talk to, who understand what I'm going through. But, it turns out, it's mostly a forum for complaints, which is cool I guess, but I'm not really interested in hearing how hard life with gp is. I know how hard it is.  What I want to hear about is cool marathon runners and singers and astronauts with gastroparesis. That's support. Maybe I'll just have to do those amazing things and start my own group, where people can be inspired and empowered, rather than brought down by complaints. Not that complaining doesn't have its place, we all need a good vent from time to time. But I want people to feel like they can do hard things, not like things are too hard for them to do. I'm just pretty sure that support groups shouldn't be depressing.
I want everyone to just love each other, which is silly and naive, and maybe even stupid. But it would be amazing.