Friday, January 04, 2013

Eating food, and other things I've taken for granted

I went to the doctor yesterday expecting to have a fancy plan of fixing my body, and instead, I learned that I will have this tube for another 6 weeks and then most likely have a more permanent tube inserted. That was awesome news. The good part about a more permanent feeding tube is that I will not be on my face, which means that I can pretend to be perfectly normal if I want to. That could be pretty awesome. And there is of course a chance that my doctor will have a fancy plan by the next time I have an appointment, and that could be even more awesome. Dare I say even awesomer? All of this has made me think more about the things I have in my life that I am lucky to have. I have a family and many friends that love me; I can still go to school and work and have lots of fun, even if it wears me out just a bit; I have felt basically good about all the things that are happening; I have so many opportunities to learn and grow and just generally be awesome. I have much to be grateful for. And I am, very grateful. But, in addition to thinking about the things I am lucky for, I have also thought a lot about the things I am missing out on. Namely, eating food. I miss food. I miss chewing it, swallowing it, digesting it, cooking it, buying it, tasting it, and even overeating it. Food is good. And when I try to imagine my future without the eating of food as part of it, I kind of struggle to see it as being possible. I can't imagine me with my only little family, them all eating dinner, and me not. That just seems a little crazy. So... I'll just have to get better, and that is that.

1 comment:

Lindsay said...

We're praying for you. :) I'm so impressed with how optimistic you are. :) You rock.