People Care

sometimes the easiest thing to remember is the feeling of loneliness, and it seems as though no one could possibly care about you, because you are so small and insignificant. And then you find out that they do. This past monday, I had something of an interesting experience that reminded me that people cared. See I knew all along that people cared about me, but I didn't want them to have to be in a postion to prove it. See monday I was watching a late movie after work, we started it at like one o'clock and by around 2 thirty I was starting to feel really sick. My body was shaking and I felt like throwing up. I didn't want to leave because sitting next to me was my best friend, and her boyfriend who is my friend also but things are a little complicated. You see I like the kid, and my best friend knows but we are trying to find away to both be happy. I wanted to seem strong, I wanted to be strong. Awhile ago I told her that she should go out with him no matter how she thinks it makes me feel and I think I was right. No, I know I was right. We shouldn't both be unhappy when one of us has a chance at something amazing. So anyways, when I was beginning to think I was going to vomit all over the floor I got up and left, shaking like crazy. I went to the main bathrooms of the movies theatre but the janitors were in there so I had to go to the other bathroom. I went in the stall but I couldn't throw up and i just leaned against the side for a minute trying to remember how to breathe, until I couldn't stay anymore and I knew I had to go home. So I went to tell Aubree. I got up there and told her that I was going home and she asked if I was okay. Of course I said yes because that is just what you say to a question like that, and I told her that I just didn't feel very well. Then I walked down the theatre steps and started towards the exit, but she came up behind me and gave me a hug. Weirdly before it comforted me, it scared me like a million times worse than anything had ever scared me before. Then i kind of broke down. I was shaking so badly that Aubree had to help me sit down and remind me to breathe like a normal person. I remember that she kept asking me if I needed jarom to drive my car home, but I didn't know. Finally I said yes, and I am so glad that I did because if I hadn't I would not have made it home. So she helped me out to her car and Jarom went to mine. She drove me home. I was shaking so badly, I had never felt so out of control in my life, my body was shaking and I could not stop it no matter how hard I gripped the car. Aubree noticed of course and she was asking me if I was cold or if I was just shaking but I couldn't tell her, I didn't know. We passed a sprinkler and the water came in through the window hitting me and scaring me. I was confused at first about what it had been but I got over it. I could see that Aubree was scared and as sick as I felt it was worse knowing that I was scaring her. then we were at my house and she came around to open my door for me but I couldn't get out anyways. I felt so weak and so worthless and I knew that both she and Jarom cared about me. I also knew by the way she was trying to get me out of the car that she was going to break down and that she didn't want me to see it. I stood up, but that was as far as I could make it. I leaned against her car just bawling and knowing that she wanted me to be okay. And then Jarom came over and he asked me what was wrong, and I couldn't explain, I couldn't even explain to myself. They helped me into my house and they didn't leave until they knew that I was going to be okay. They really cared about me and it made me want to cry. I had never really seen Aubree cry before, and now I had and it was because of me. She was leaving for camp later that morning and i could not let her leave worrying about me. I made myself call her and tell her that I was okay even though I wasn't sure that it was true yet. All week I felt guilty knowing that I had made her cry, even though I knew it wasn't my fault, I felt worse about that than I was worried about what was happening to me. That night they saved my life, Aubree and Jarom, and I don't know if I can ever thank them enough. If I had tried to drive home, I would have never made it. It was amazing to see how much they could care, about me.