HMMM

I am a confused mass of emotion and thought. I am always thinking and always feeling. I am like a crazy emotional thought machine that cannot be turned off. No matter what I am doing, my thoughts are running wild. I think about books and science and art and boys and work and friends and my family. Even when I am asleep I am thinking I remember atleast one dream almost every night. They vary, there is an occasional dream that makes me never want to sleep again and then there are those ones I hold onto so tightly because I do not want to lose them, they are so perfect. And then, there are weird ones. Being a thinker can sometimes get me into trouble, I think of amazing ideas that are almost genious until they are ruined by minor "realities". My ideas sometimes lead to the laughter of my friends for years after the actual event. I am also a very literal thinker, like if someone were to perhaps tell me to look under something for scissors, I would probably lift it up and look under instead of checking the cupboard underneath, actually believing that they will be there. I will never live that one down.
Besides the thinking I also mentioned feeling, I am a laugher, and unfortunately a crier. When things are hard or I am tired or in pain, or I am just overly confused I cry. It is the way I deal with things though I wish it wasn't. I wish I sould deal with them by carefully thinking them over and coming to an intellectual conclusion within minutes. Instead, my face crumples, my eyes fill, unidentifiable noises exit my mouth, and I gain an excellent spotchy complexion. That is one thing I do not really like about myself, I cry easily and often although luckily it is usually more of a quiet streaming tear type of things. It is not just my own pain I cry for, I don't like for other people to need to cry so... obviously I join them. I do not like that other people need to feel bad ever, I want them to always be okay, and they can't be. But I do also laugh, sometimes this is an innoportune habit but it is more enjoyable experience. I really like those times when I make other people laugh however few they may be. Mostly when people laugh at me it is because I have done something stupid, but sometimes I am actuallly funny, and I like to see other people laugh.
In my mind everything is overemphasized, and everything has massive importance. I cannot make it through the day without thinking about some strange pattern that no one else can see, or analyzing the importance of the rain formation on my window ( is it picasso or monet.) I think now that I have thouroughlly explained the oddity which is my mind I should shut up before you think I'm crazy (for definition check blog titled "crazy"). So anyways i'm going to skeedadle. BYE!