Cathleen Kelly

I like to fall asleep to movies, so, right now, as I type, Cathleen Kelly is concurrently typing a love letter to one Joe Fox—a man I have loved since I was 11 years old.  Also happening right now, a pump is pushing my formula (affectionately named "vanilla" by my roommate, Alicia) into my body. Yay hooray! The only problem is that with every drop of vanilla that enters my body, the feeding attachment gets pushed farther out, and within five minutes my pump would be pumping precious drops of vanilla all over me and my bed instead of into my intestines where it belongs. I should probably talk to someone about this... I think there's a pinch or something. Now, Joe Fox is proclaiming the end of the world, and Cathleen is smelling scotch tape, and I am icing my shoulder, which I hurt bowling and is kind of getting worse.  Sorry that this post is becoming kind of stream of consciousness... I'm distracted.
Recently I've been eating too much food. See, it sounds good and it looks good, and it smells good. So I eat it. And then I'm sick. For hours. And I think to myself, I should never do that again, but then I do.  So now I am writing this post so I will have a sense of responsibility accompanying my words. I need to significantly decrease my food eating, maybe like once a week or something... But I need help, mostly because I forget and because food is so social. Maybe you all could help me? I think if I get myself a good supply of gum, hard candy, and Popsicles, I'll be able to stop the eating.  I'm also thinking ill try to drink water. So far it fails, but maybe I can retrain my body to accept it.
Sometimes I get really frustrated and think to myself, "why is this my life?" And not in a happy way. But then, I'll have a good conversation or watch a good movie (Tall. Decaf. Cappuccino.) or I dunno, do something fun, and then I remember that I have THE BEST friends, I live with some of the greatest people I have ever encountered, I have an excellent job, and my life is overall pretty great.
And so as I watch Frank describe Cathleen as a lone reed, and Cathleen thinking about her small but valuable life, I am thinking about my own life.  Sometimes I feel alone and afraid, and I don't know what to do. Sometimes I wonder if I have anything to offer. And sometimes I wonder if I love you've got mail because I am like Cathleen Kelly, or if I am like Cathleen Kelly because I love the movie. It doesn't really matter in the end though.  I think we are all sometimes afraid, and perhaps we even all sometimes feel insignificant, I think we all might even wonder why we are who we are, it's part of being human. And I think I'm learning to accept it.

I am Corinne Jordan Bauer.  I am smart and brave and strong. Sometimes, I am afraid. I love school supplies and plain white daisies with yellow centers; books and the smell of coffee.  I try to be kind, and sometimes don't defend myself, but I have the power to make people laugh, and the empathy to cry when they cry. I'm learning to forgive. I am different and sometimes awkward, and because of this, I have something unique to offer to the world. And I am surrounded by people who constantly amaze me. They put me to shame, yet still want to be around me, so I must be doing something right. When I really think about it, I'm pretty lucky.

Future Accomplishments

So, I have been thinking a lot about the things I want to accomplish in my life, and decided to write a bucket list of sorts.  I don't know if mine fits the exact constraints of bucket lists in general, but, it works for me.  Some of the things will be difficult, while others are simple, and perhaps unimportant, nevertheless, they mean something to me.  Life is so full of opportunity, I'm ready to seize them! Here is my list, I'd be interested to hear others' bucket lists, and suggestions for mine!

Bucket List
Learn to surf       Go to second city      Have some crazy color of hair      Have a 1920's themed party
Live in New York.      Travel all across Europe      Visit Boston   Star in a musical
Duet with someone awesome   Make a soufflé    Speak Korean (well)    Open macaroni restaurant
 Read all of dickens   Zip line through a jungle   Swim with sharks   Do a half ironman
Go to every national park in the USA   Be published   Do comedy for my job
Meet Tina fey (and be best friends, of course)    Live near a beach   Volunteer in Africa
Go somewhere new every year   Be toned   Swim all the time   Write daily
Be okay with success and failure   Have a conversation with David sedaris
 Own blue converse high tops   Make croissants aux chocolat    Get a black belt
Have a piece of art in a gallery   Own a piece of art that I love   Go back to Mexico
Design and make a dress   Write something that changes the world
Stand up for those who need my help   Write and perform a song   Play the banjo   Be in a band
Go to a bluegrass festival   Present at a conference    Watch a sunrise   Own a motorcycle
Snowboard   Go to culinary school   Discover something new   Eat crepes in France
Build a sand sculpture   Finish an altered book   Go to grad school