Dreaming

So this song was playing through my dreams last night. It had nothing at all to do with my dreams, it was just like I had a song stuck in my head, lucky for me it was Flight of the Conchords and so worth listening to. Sadly I do not know all the words so I just heard over and over, a kiss is not a contract, but it's very nice, it's very very nice. Check it out.

Truth

SO I have been a little bit sick as of late, not exactly your average got a cold sick, but more of a slight been passing out a lot for the past few months, changing my life a little, Jed Christensen had to catch me the other night before I hit my head on a wall kind of sick. It's ridiculous and I feel like a major complainer even blogging about it but I figure people who read my blog see me occasionally and may want to know what the heck is going on if I fall on my face and don't get up for awhile the next time I see them.
SO, here goes... (notice how I started two consecutive paragraphs with the word SO... not a promising start, but bear with me, or don't, your choice) Anyway, like three months ago pre-gallbladder surgery I started passing out, they thought it was a potential symptom and so we got rid of the gallbladder and though thankfully it did completely eradicate my stomach pain it did not remove the slight inconvenience and complete scariness of frequent loss of consciousness. I have started seeing specialists, first a cardiologist, my heart is just fine :) and now a neurologist, and my brain, no surprise is a little off. My EEG readings are irregular which means something... What, you ask? I don't actually know yet, but it sounds promising. Anyway.... things aren't too bad, i just have to limit myself, and be a bit more dependant on others than I would like.
To be honest I get so frustrated I could hit someone, but if I were to try, I would probably fall down before I made contact. That is an exaggeration, and honestly I don't really like to hit but I do get angry and stressed and worried that they will never figure this out and I am not the amazing sort of person that can just deal with things forever and ever and not breakdown, no way. I mean maybe I could become that person if that situation does arise but at the moment I like my freedom, and I want it back! For the most part I am fine, my average day is pretty good I can do normal stuff and survive it, good days I can do a lot and then, of course there are bad days, days where crying seems like the best option. But I am happy, and on some blood pressure raiser uppers that make things a lot better than they were a month ago. Life is funny, and hard, and has a way of not turning out the way you planned, but I suppose when all is said and done it will be better than I could have imagined.