Friends

i've written about friends before, i know i have, but my view has changed a little. See the things is that i have tried my whole life to never hurt anyone, especially people who i am closest to, and it seems i have failed, even with that as my ultimate goal. In trying to save my best friend from pain i hurt her, and i don't know what i am to her anymore. Hopefully i remain her best friend, but i have my doubts. Of course like most hurtful stories, it is, about a boy. I never would have guessed that some stupid boy and my stupid desire to help would cause a break if not forever, even just for now. ugh... see i hardly even want to talk about it, but of course i really do, otherwise i wouldn't even try. I kept something from her trying to protect her and when i finally told her, she was angry that i had waited so long. I don't like hurting people or telling things that aren't mine to tell but i know that this time i made the wrong choice. I wish i would have told her in the beginning, that would have solved a lot of problems, but in my mind i was doing the right thing so i stuck with it. Anyways, that part is over now. She ignored me for a bit and then we talked it out and made it okay. What made it especially hard though is that at the same time that all this was happening she was also getting to be close to this other girl, which is great, but it was hard to tell if she was avoiding me and our best friends or if she was just trying to spend time with her other friend. so the whole point of this all is that friends are the most amazing and the most confusing things in the world, and it is hard when things change. It's not that the change has been bad, she's still my best friend, but it's different, and takes adjustment. I'm okay with how things are but i hope they return to normal. I love my friends, they are everything to me, and i will do whatever i can to make things okay for all of them.